The Perfect Rachel Berry
by Stephinator Lynn
Summary: Rachel Berry's life is perfect... A Dark-Fic
1. Prologue 1

The Not So Perfect Rachel Berry

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee… damn

~*~

Rachel Berry's skirts and blouses were always so clean and wrinkle free. She would iron them the night before and hang them on the back of her door

She would do this just before slipping into her bathroom and pulling a blade out of her shick razor. She would step into the shower and run the blade along her stomach and the very tops or her thighs. She would turn on the shower and watch the blood pour down the drain. She was always careful never to spill blood on the floor or wipe it off on any of her towels.

Rachel Berry was a straight-A student. After her evening shower she would do her homework and study for her upcoming tests. She was the perfect student; every teachers ideal student.

She would study until her eyes could barely stay open and then she would down a couple more tablets of speed that she would buy from the school drug dealer. She would take some more pills and she would study some more. She was always careful not to wake her fathers while she studied.

Rachel Berry was in love with a boy. He was the hottest guy in the school. She let everyone believe that it was just a small crush. He was spoken for. He had a baby on the way. She took his rejection with grace and perfection.

She would tell her father's she was going out on Friday nights. That she was staying at Tina's or Kurt's house. She would then end up at the local university to attend a party. She would drink and smoke things handed to her and end up in a college boys' bedroom trying to forget that the man she loved was having a baby. She would wake up disoriented and stumble to her car, slipping back into her bedroom to sleep.

To everyone around her, Rachel Berry was perfect and strived for even more. She was good at everything she did.

Sure she got slushies thrown in her face, called a freak and recently got denied to the summer program at Julliard over the summer, but she would cope.

Rachel Berry was perfect.

She was perfect at pretending to be perfect.

~*~End

So.. kind of dark.. I just thought of it the other night and wrote it out. I was planning on it only being a one-shot


	2. Prologue 2

**Noah Puckerman was a badass. He spent his days sleeping in class and talking back to teachers. His guidance counsellors told him that he would have to keep a C average if he was going to be able to play football. He was a badass and complained about his little sister constantly to his friends, telling them all that she was just a little brat.**

**Every afternoon when he didn't have football practice he would drive over to the Lima elementary school and pick up his little sister Julia. He would ask her about her day and she would go on and on about all the stuff she had done. He listened intently and then would let her listen to whatever she wanted to on the radio. When they got home he would help her with her homework and make her dinner while their mom was at work. He would let her watch an hour of TV before putting her to bed. Then and only then would he study for his own classes. It made him tired and irritable during the day. **

**Noah Puckerman was a badass. He prided himself on playing rap and R&B from his new car stereo when he drove through the town. He would rock out on an electric guitar, turning up the volume, irritating everyone around him. He listened to songs about 'bitches' and 'hoes'.**

**When his sister was sick Noah would pull out his acoustic guitar and play her favourite Disney song for her, singing along quietly. At night when he couldn't sleep he would strum along on his guitar quietly, writing down notes and making up lyrics. He has a drawer full of slow songs that he had composed. **

**Noah Puckerman was a badass. He spent his days plotting on how he could throw a slushie into anyone of the Gleeks faces; especially the perfect Rachel Berry. Him and the rest of the football players would laugh as they watched her run away into the girls locker room.**

**When Rachel Berry would run away after being slushied by him or one of his team mates he would follow her. One time he found her in the auditorium, slushie still clinging to her clothes and hair. She stood in the middle of the stage and would sing. She sang a slow and sad version of "defying gravity", which made Noah feel like shit. He couldn't help but think how good his guitar would sound with this song, or how good she would sound singing one of his. After the song she went into the girls locker room to change. He would always be amazed at how she would come back to class changed and smiling away, as if nothing ever happened. There was something weird with that. There was something about that girl that got to them. **

**Noah Puckerman was a badass and would continue to slushie Rachel Berry because of that very reason.**

**END CHAPTER.**

**A/N: I wasn't going to write this but I just might continue it. Let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 1

A/N: I've been getting some great reviews on my last two chapters. I was going to leave it like that but my mind keeps coming up with ideas for these two.

Chapter 1

Noah Puckerman normally wouldn't go to a college party. He liked cheerleaders or cougars. A buddy of his from football camp during the summer had invited him. He was only planning to show his face and leave. He was slowly nursing his first beer and watching the crowd. None of it really interested him.

Nothing was interesting him until her heard one guy saw out. "This chicks done. I'm gonna take her upstairs. Maybe I'll keep the high socks as a souvenir." Guys around him laughed. Even some girls giggled. He looked over and almost dropped his beer. The college guy had his big arms wrapped around a very tiny girl. A very drunk girl. A very drunk girl with a short skirt and knee high socks. A very drunk, tiny Rachel Berry.

Wait? Rachel Berry? What was she doing at a college party. Drunk no less. She was a minute away from completely passing out.

He couldn't let that guy take Rachel upstairs like that. He had to get her out of here and drive her home. What was she even doing here in the first place? He walked over to the college boy. "Excuse me. I'm a friend of the quarter-back. His special guest actually. He said I get the first chick who's ready for a good time. You mind?" He asked with all the coolness he could muster. He was actually close to visibly shaking. He really had to get Rachel out of here.

The college guy looked over to the quarter-back. He nodded. Noah sighed. "Yeah man, no problem. I think I got with this chick a couple of weeks ago. She's much better when she's still standing." Noah shuddered at the thought. She had been here before? What was going on with Rachel Berry?

The guy pushed Rachel over to him and he had to hold her upright. She clung to him and he breathed in her scent. She smelled good. A little like alcohol but still good. She looked up at him and didn't even know who he was, she just let him hold her. "C'mon Berry" he said helping her walk out of the house 'we're getting out of here."

All Rachel could do was groan. She was so drunk she couldn't even form coherent words. Noah shook his head as he walked her to his truck. He put her in the back seat so that she could lay down. He knew where she lived. Him and the rest of the football team had egged her house once… or twice.

When they had gotten to her house Rachel was sleeping, snoring softly. Noah found it kind of cute. He picked her up gently and carried her to her front door. She was surprisingly very light. Did she even eat? He placed her on the porch swing and began searching the flower pots for a key. Hidden in the mouth of a ceramic turtle he found the front door key. He opened the door, went over to pick Rachel up again and brought her inside, kicking the door shut behind him. He carried her upstairs and assumed the door with the star on it was hers.

Noah placed Rachel on her bed and covered her with a blanket. He sighed, staring at her. What was this girls deal? Parties and drinking? Hardly something the perfect Rachel Berry would do? He looked at his watch and groaned. His mom was starting a shift at the hospital at 11pm and he had to get home to watch his sister.

He was going to get to the bottom of this. He had to. Rachel couldn't continue like this. What would have happened to her if he wasn't there? How many times had she been at those parties?

No more Noah Puckerman the badass. He had to take care of Rachel Berry.

END CHAPTER ONE

So that's kind of like Noah's mission statement for the show. Is he going to tell her that he brought her home?

Tell me what you think


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter two

The next day at school Noah walked by Rachel's locker, noticing her take a couple of aspirins and chug it down with a huge bottle of water. He came up in front of her and she braced herself. In his hand was a slushie. Rachel closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself for the onslaught of corn syrup and ice.

"Umm… I brought you a slushie. It might help with your headache." He handed her the drink and pulled out a straw from behind his ear.

Rachel took the drink and looked inside it, as if he had put something in it. "How did you know that I had a headache?"

So Rachel didn't know that he was the one that brought her home last night. He thought quickly, "well, you just downed a couple of aspirin and a hell of a lot of water."

"Right… Umm, thanks Puck."

"No problem. And you can call me Noah… If you want." Rachel looked at him skeptically. "It's my name you know?"

"I know that. It's just… you never let anyone call you Noah. I've seen you beat up people who call you Noah."

"Well, you can call me Noah, Rachel."

Rachel took a sip of her slushie. Grape. Her favorite flavor. "You usually call be Berry."

"I know that." Noah sighed. She was making things extremely difficult for him. "I got you a slushie and I called you Rachel. Deal with it." He said before walking away.

Rachel was left leaning against her locker, sipping on her slushie. It was helping her hangover. She hoped Noah didn't think that she actually had a hangover.

In fact, she had one of the worst hangovers she had ever had. What the hell had happened to her last night and how the hell did she make it home. She usually woke up in an unusual place and had to call a cab at five in the morning to take her home so that she could get ready for school.

She shook her head. No more college parties on school nights. Today was going to be a killer. She reached into her bag and pulled out her bottle of amphetamine. She shook the bottle. Damn. It was empty. She looked at her watch. She still had some time before school started. She grabbed her bag and walked outside towards the back of the school.

"Well, if it isn't little miss perfect". There she spotted Tim Simons leaning against the wall. Rachel looked around. No one was watching. "Don't you look delicious today" he commented, looking her up and down. She looked at herself. She was just in her normal skirt, blouse and high socks.

"Umm, thanks?"

"Anytime. So, what can I do for you today?" Tim took a long drag of his cigarette.

"I'm out of pills." She said simply, reaching in her bag for her wallet.

"Already? Geez girl. You're gonna be broke pretty soon. Then you're going to have to pay me in other ways." He looked at her sickly. It was true, she had been taking a lot of pills lately, but it was midterms and she had to study a lot. At the rate she was going, she was going to run out of money. At least he gave her other options of payment. If she had to sleep with the little weasel, then so be it. She would just drink a lot first.

Tim reached into his bag and pulled out what Rachel craved. He handed her a new bottle and she handed him a wad of cash. "Thanks." She said. She quickly opened the bottle and popped two pills into her mouth.

"Guess I'll be seeing you sooner rather than later Berry."

"Yeah, yeah." She said walking away.

Watching from afar, Noah couldn't help himself. Once Rachel had walked away from Tim, he went running over to him. He grabbed him by the collar of the shirt and slammed him against the wall. He could always get his hash from someone else.

"Hey man, what's your problem?"

"what the hell did Rachel Berry just buy from you?"

"Now that's none of your business Puckerman."

"Rachel Berry is my business. I'll kill you if you don't tell me you little punk." He pushed Tim harder up against the wall.

"Ok, ok. The chick just wanted some speed. Can you let me go now."

Noah let him go. He punched him once in the face, sending him to the ground. "You ever sell Rachel Berry speed again, I will kill you Simons. Got it?"

Tim nodded his head. "Got it."

"Good"

Noah left Tim lying on the ground. Rachel Berry got drunk at college parties and bought speed from Tim Simons. What the hell was going on here? What else was Rachel Berry not telling anyone?

END CHAPTER

Hope you like it. I just wrote it quickly before bed. Another of Rachel's secrets revealed. When will Puck confront her?

Please review!!


	5. Chapter 3

Every class Noah had with Rachel he spent it watching her like a hawk. She was always smiling and talking fast. No wonder. She was totally high all the time. Who would have thought?

He walked into Glee and saw her talking to Mr. Shue. Instead of taking a seat at the back of the classroom like he normally did, he sat in the front, and if Rachel wanted to sit in the front, she'd have to sit next to him. Perfect.

As anticipated, Rachel took her seat in the front row next to Noah. Now that she was close, he wasn't going to let her out of his sight.

"Ok guess, we're gonna get started on duets." The class groaned. Everyone except Rachel of course, "so I'm going to draw some names."

Noah's hand shot up into the air, "Mr. Shue, I was wondering if I could work with Rachel." Everyone in Glee stared at him. "I mean, I don't think my singing is at its best yet, and I know that Berry here can help me out. I don't want to bring the team down."

"That's a great idea Puck. You'll be matched with Rachel. Ok, everyone else come over and pick names."

Noah looked over at Rachel. She was already going through songs she had on her iPod. She smiled at him. For a moment he wondered if it was a genuine smile or a high induced one.

"So, do you want to come over to my place and practice tonight?" Rachel asked him sweetly.

"I'd love to." This would give him the perfect opportunity to snoop around; even though this time she would be conscious. "I'll drive you." He offered. He didn't know how many pills she had taken today and wasn't going to let her drive.

"Sure. My dad drove me this morning."

Noah was sitting on Rachel's bed playing his guitar while Rachel sang. She had the most beautiful voice and he was mesmerized.

At the end of the song Rachel turned to him. "You're a very good musician Noah." She commented.

"Thanks. You're an amazing singer. They say drinking and stuff like that is bad for you."

She looked at him strangely. "I know that. It lowers your range considerably."

Noah thought about telling her about the party but thought against it. He needed to know more. He just nodded.

"Noah, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Why did you really want to sing with me? You're singing is very good and I know you don't like me that much-"

"I like you Rachel." He blurted out.

"Well, I think the slushies speak for themselves." Noah cringed. How was he supposed to get through to someone who didn't trust him.

"That was before I was in Glee. Before I got to know you. I'm not going to slushie you anymore."

"Someone else will take your place. Don't worry."

"Why are you being so negative Rachel? It's not like you. You haven't even been slusied lately."

"I was slushied by Jeremy Smits just yesterday Noah."

"What? I told them not to mess with you anymore."

"Why would you tell them that?"

He sighed. She didn't get it. "Because I'm sorry Rachel. I like you and I'm sorry. I care about you."

"You… Care?"

"You seem surprised that someone cares."

"Not many people do." Tears glistened her eyes. Damn, she was crying. Normally Noah wasn't good with girls that cried; but for some reason he was so heartbroken that he was drawn to her. He got up from where he was sitting and walked to where she was standing and wrapped his arms around her.

In his arms she broke down. He rubbed her back and tried to soothe her.

Rachel hated being this vulnerable. She was the perfect Rachel Berry. She shouldn't be leaning on someone like this; especially Noah Puckerman.

As wonderful as it felt to be in Noah's arms she pulled away and wiped her eyes, "I think you should leave Noah"

"But-"

"Moment of weakness. I'm sorry I got your shirt wet." She said, almost emotionless. Sure she had heard him say that he liked her and that he cared about her, but she couldn't deal with all of that right now.

"I don't give a shit about my shirt Rachel. I don't want to leave you like this."

"I'm fine." She flashed a perfect Rachel Berry smile. "Please Noah. I really appreciate everything you've done. But you can leave. I'll be fine."

He really didn't want to go.

"You're sure?"

She smiled again. He really was being quite sweet. "Positive. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Ok."

Rachel watched his truck pull away from her house. She then quickly ran into the shower making sure she grabbed her razor before stepping in.

Why did her life have to be so complicated? Why couldn't Finn stay stuff like that to her? Why couldn't she let herself trust Noah?

END CHAPTER…


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Thanks for all the reviews… Got more alerts though.. Reviews keep me going though ;)

Disclaimer: don't own because if I did… Glee would be full of PuckleBerry angst.

~*~

Normally when Rachel slept, which was quite a rare occasion to begin with, she would usually spend it dreaming about Finn. How he had kissed her and then told her not to tell anyone, how he consoled Quinn when she told him she was pregnant, or how he had played with her feelings just to get her back in the Glee Club. They were nightmares. She was clearly in love with a boy who was manipulative and did not care for her like she wished.

'I care about you Rachel' She heard as she slept. How did that slip in there? Her dreams were supposed to be nightmares. How did Noah's soothing voice make its way into her subconscious? Occasionally a slushie nightmare with Noah wormed its way in but never something so soothing. For the first time in a long time, Rachel indulged and slept with a smile on her face.

~*~

Rachel woke up that morning so well rested that she didn't even feel the need to take any of her pills.

She dressed for school in her usual short skirt and blouse with her knee high socks. For the first time in a long time, she was excited to go to school. Would Noah hand her a slushie? Would he sit beside her in Glee? Would he offer to drive her home? She couldn't help herself. She was constantly thinking of him now.

She placed her books in her locker, closed it and turned towards her first class. She had English Lit with Noah. She was so excited that she didn't even notice Smits walk towards her with a Big Gulp of Cherry Slushie. "Hey Berry!" He called to her. She turned, only to be on the receiving end of the iced concoction.

Rachel closed her eyes, feeling the cold seep through her clothes. She could hear people laughing at her. So much for her perfect day.

She kept her head down and quickly ran towards the girls locker room.

Usually Rachel kept her clothes in her school locker and would grab them before running off. Noah noticed this from afar. He wanted nothing more than to run over to her and comfort her but he couldn't get his feet to move. He was, however going to beat the crap out of Smits. He walked over to Brittany who was also standing nearby, shaking her head in dismay.

"Hey Brittney." Noah called her over.

"That was disgusting Puck." She commented on the earlier slushing.

"I know. Listen, do you have extra clothes in the locker room?"

"Yeah. In case my cheerios uniform gets dirty. Why?"

"Do you think you could go to the change room and let Rachel borrow something of yours?"

Brittany smiled at him. "Of course Puck. That's strangely considerate of you."

"I know. Thanks Britt."

"No problem."

~*~

Brittney made her way to the girls locker room. She didn't want to startle Rachel so she opened the door slowly. She slowly made her way around a few rows of lockers. What she saw after turning the last corner shocker her. By a sink, Rachel was in her underwear trying to scrub the red slushie stains off of her shirt and skirt. The shocking part however was that Brittney could clearly see the scars on both Rachel's abdomen and upper thighs. She quickly turned away. Better to announce herself.

Hiding behind another row of lockers, she spoke, "umm, Rachel?"

"Brittney?" Shock was evident in Rachel's voice.

"Yeah. Listen, Puck noticed that you didn't have any spare clothes and asked if I could lend you some."

"Puck said that?" Rachel came around the corner, this time wrapped in a towel.

Brittney laughed, "Yeah. You can go and take a shower and I'll grab something out of my locker for you. Then when you're done I'll help you with your hair.

"Umm, thanks."

"No problem Rachel. I'm just sorry that this happened to you."

~*~

At lunch Noah sat in the cafeteria waiting for Rachel to emerg. Brittney had come in a few minutes before with a wink to Noah. If anyone knew that he had a crush on Rachel, he was glad it was Brittney.

It was slow motion when Rachel had walked into the cafeteria. Almost everyone turned their heads. Brittney must have straightened Rachel's brown hair after Rachel had washed it. She was wearing a long blue tank top, looking like a short dress. Underneath she wore a pair of black leggings and on her feet were a pair of tan Uggs. She looked beautiful and Noah couldn't help but want to beat the crap out of every guy staring at her.

Lucky for him, she came straight over to him. "Can I sit with you Noah?"

"Sure Rachel." He couldn't help but notice she didn't even have a lunch.

"Umm, thank you for sending Brittney in after me. That was really nice of you Noah. Brittney was so sweet. We're even going to go shopping tomorrow after Glee practice." Rachel smiled at him. He loved that genuine smile of hers. He added 'keeping her smile' to his Rachel Berry list.

"Your welcome. You look really great."

"Thanks. It's actually quite comfortable."

"Yeah, well. I'm going to make sure you never get slushied again."

"For some strange reason I believe you Noah." She smiled again and the bell rang. "I'll see you later." Rachel got up and head to class. Noah couldn't help but watch her walk away. She looked really good.

He was snapped back to reality when Brittney came and sat with him. "Good job Britt. Rachel looks great. Happy even. Thanks a lot."

"It was no problem. I've always liked Rachel. I have nothing against her. But I am a little worried about her."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well… When I went into the change room I caught a glimpse of Rachel changing. Noah, she had marks all over her stomach and thighs. I think she might be hurting herself."

Every fantasy Puck had about two girls in the locker room had just been erased from his mind. "Damnit Rachel. What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked himself.

"I wasn't mistaken was I?" Brittney asked with concern.

"No. Please don't tell anyone else."

"I won't. I promise. But I'm taking her shopping. Maybe I could just talk to her."

"That would be great. See if you can get her to buy some more of those shirts she was wearing today too."

"You've got it bad Puckerman."

Noah sighed. "I know I do."

END CHAPTER

What did you guys think? Do we like that Brittney is nice? Is she going to get anything out of Rachel? When is Puck going to say something to her.

All this and more coming up on…. GLEE!


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 3

"So Rachel, I think that you need a whole new image. I mean, did you see the guys staring at you after you changed your clothes? I wish I got that much attention." Britney sighed as she dragged Rachel through the mall.

"You do get that much attention Britney. Plus, there aren't very many people out there I want attention from."

"But there are some people you want attention from. Plus; don't you want to be a big Broadway star or something?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"Then c'mon. The more attention the better right?" Britney said as she pulled Rachel into a 'Forever 21'.

Together they went through the entire store, looking at every rack of clothing. Britney pulled out jeans, belts, cute tops and some jackets. They spent hours in the changing room trying on different outfits. Rachel looked good in all of them. She made sure that nothing revealed any of her scars and always changed behind the curtain. Britney changed out in the open and knew why Rachel was hiding but didn't want to say anything to her just yet. They were just becoming friends and she didn't want to scare Rachel off.

"Umm, Brit. I'm not going to be able to afford all of this stuff." Rachel said as she watched Britney pile up all the clothes she wanted Rachel to get.

"Don't worry about it Rach. My daddy gave me his credit card. If he asked what I bought I'll show him something from by closet with the tags still on." Britney grabbed just about everything Rachel had tried on and walked over to the cash register.

"You really don't have to do all of this Britney."

"I'm happy to do it Rachel. Trust me. You're my friend." Britney watched Rachel's confused expression. "People don't do nice things for you very often do they?"

Rachel shook her head no.

"That's too bad. You're a really nice person Rachel. I wish things were different for you." Britney hoped she was getting through to Rachel a little bit. "But, if you feel a little guilty I'll let you buy me some dinner." She said as she handed the Sales Rep her daddy's credit card.

As they walked to the food court, Britney spoke, "you know Rachel; there are people who care about you."

Rachel turned to her. "Hardly. Everyone just tolerates me. They tolerate me because they know that in a couple of years I'll be gone. Hopefully to New York City but you never know. People don't care about me Britney. I learned that from Finn." Rachel confessed.

"Finn? All of this is about Finn. Rachel… Finn is an idiot. Quinn has his so whipped its ridiculous. Plus with the baby on the way…"

"He kissed me." Rachel said. "Then he told me not to tell anyone." Britney gasped. "Then when I quit Glee he asked me out on a date. Used me. Made me believe that we would be together if I came back to Glee. Then he went running back to Quinn." Rachel said with distaste.

"None of this is Quinn's fault Rachel."

"I know that. She can be very nice."

"You need to forget all about Finn ok? He is no good for you. And pining over someone who treats you like crap is no way to go through high school Rachel. People do care about you. I care about you… and Puck cares about you too."

"Noah?"

"He lets you call him Noah. He really cares about you. I think he kind of likes you."

"You and him are in on some kind of sick joke aren't you?"

"No Rachel. Puck does like you. And he worries about you too."

"Why would he be worried about me?"

Britney knew she was saying too much. "Well, yeah. I week. He's really sorry for all those times he's gotten you."

Rachel looked at Britney strangely. Sure, she was a little weird, but Rachel liked her. Maybe she could have a friend in highschool after all. "I have to admit, Noah has been quite nice to me lately."

"Just give him a chance. Let him into your life. He might surprise you."

End Chapter.

Sorry for the delay. Kind of boring..

Review anyways.. haha


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